Work: Zilch

Now that I have found myself in the wonderful world of the public service, I have little work to do. The odd piece of filing, documents to add to our intranet, photocopying, answering the phone which rings once, maybe even twice a day. It's great!

I wholeheartedly believe that this is the reason that I just booked ultra cheap fares. Get this: Frankfurt-Rome-Barcelona-Frankfurt for AUD$68. Yes, that's including taxes.

I love this whole bludgy workplace thing, could handle being paid this much for so little work for a long time me thinks.

Impulsive

That's me: impulsive.

Which explains why I have applied for a job in freaking Adelaide.

Granted it's an awesome job, I'd be great at it, fantastic company. But Adelaide?

At least it's given me a laugh for the afternoon.

Thinking

I've always been a thinker. There's always been some random thought running through my mind, some trip I've had to plan down to the last detail but never actually take, house plans, paint colours, brushed concrete slab or carpet.

But the last couple of days I've been thinking even more than usual. A friend came down over the weekend and pottered round and spent a night down at White Beach. A lot of yummy food, not enough (or maybe too much? :P) wine and great company. Oh, and a partially watched movie which I will eventually get around to not sleeping through!

Enough tangents, I've been thinking more than usual, which may account for my lack of drive at work so far this week. I feel like I need to get my immediate life in some sort of order, back onto a routine that I've lost since being at the hostel.

My "job"for the 2 weeks that I'll be kidless is spread my stuff out and get rid of what I don't need, start writing more, spend one day getting absolutley blind drunk, go bush for a weekend, establish a routine. Use my board again, work out my budget. Fun stuff!

Mothers

They should be banned for sending emails which will make you cry at work.

Received this earlier today:

It's so good hearing – and seeing – you chuckle your way through a meal. It's as if a foggy mist has been lifted away to reveal sunshine. And you are looking good: curvaceous and attractive … black suits you, especially when its teamed with the lights in your hair. Enough – I sound like a mother!!

*sniff* I love my mum :)

Business Idea - tell me what you think

I have developed a skill over the last 6 months, which coincides with me having a lot more to do with our clients and also a few male temps.

My skill is this: Any male who I find remotely attractive is married/taken/seems to make a point of telling me about their partner!

Now I was thinking of hiring myself out, as a relationship investigator if you will. Picture this: You're into a guy but you just have a feeling about him that's not right. You think he might have a partner/wife/family but don't want to make a fool of yourself by asking.

This is where I come in! You pay me a set fee (not sure how much yet, any thoughts?) and if I'm attracted to him, you ditch him and if I'm not then you live happily ever after*.

Obviously I need to do a bit more work on this, but I think it could be a goer!

* This feature not guaranteed

My Prince Charming

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a meadow near her castle.

A frog hopped into the princess' lap and said:

"Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young Prince that I am and then, my sweet,we can marry and set up housekeeping in your castle with my mother, where you can satisfy my needs, prepare and serve my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."

That night, as the princess dined sumptuously on lightly sauteed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled and thought to herself: I DON'T F***ING THINK SO!

It's about time they started writing fairytales about me!

Paris Hilton

I never thought that I would stoop to blogging about Paris Hilton. Bluergh.

Ok, so she's a role model to millions of young teeny boppers who don't know any better. I don't have a problem with that. Well, not really, I mean who wants their little girl to grow up to be a trollop?

But, reading an article this morning about how she is "too beautiful to go to jail" I came across the following comment:

"She provides hope for young people all over the US and the world. She provides beauty and excitement to (most of) our otherwise mundane lives. We, the American public who support Paris, are shocked, dismayed and appalled by how Paris has been the person to be used as an example that Drunk Driving is wrong... "

What has happened to people trying to see the positive side of things? Millions of young girls and however many boys now see the lesser consequences of drink driving. We were shown the videos in high school of drunken crashes etc but there was still very much the feeling of "well that won't happen to me". That feeling went flying out the window when a cop came to speak with us. Everyone was more afraid of going to jail than a car accident.

Yeah, woe is you Paris, but hey you've done a good thing for a change.

The weekend

• 4 bottles Four Sisters
• 1 pack cigarettes
• 1 Go Betweens tribute
• 1 Maccas run
• 3 games of pool won in a row
• 3 new skirts
• 2 pairs of pretty new shoes
• 1 new clean room

Wadeye

I can't remember where I saw this, but I know it was on the ABC. Have googled and want to find out more about it but have exhausted my search terms I think. If anyone has any info, please let me know.

I saw recently a story about Wadeye, 7hrs from Darwin. It was a fairly brief article about a "reformed" (for want of a better word) gang leader. This guy is 32 and has spent 11 years of his life in jail.

He is now out of jail and has joined the police force. He's working with the young men who are members of two gangs which have divided the community for the last however long. He's getting them back into education, they're getting jobs and sorting out a future for themselves which doesn't involve ending up in jail.

It reminded me of an organisation I've been involved with here, designed to give "last chance kids" a second chance. It's not all that well known within our community but is an amazing organisation. The young person is matched up with a mentor who all but lives with them. They call in the morning to see how they're going, then rock up and take them into the centre and work of various projects through the day. They'll play sport, attend community seminars, spend time with their family.

The guys that I've met who do this are incredible. I first met them at a weekend workshop I was mentoring at and was instantly terrified of them. Think Maori/Samoan rugby players and then double them. Big, scary but quiet and insanely gentle guys. One of them worked high up in a bank before this job - talk about a change! They love what they do and wouldn't have life any other way.

Isn't it funny how some people struggle to find what is right for them and other find it? Granted, it's taken awhile, but they get there.

It is one of the most inspiring things to meet someone who is happy with their life, especially their work.

Make up

I'm turning into a girl and it's so much fun.

My lunch time shopping trip today, intended to replenish my work wardrobe, saw me come back to work with 3 skirts, some make up and a pair of stockings.

All I want do now is go home and play with it all. Experiment with the make up. Run around in my skirts and heels.

What is happening to me? Kinda like I've entered a parallel universe :p

I love even more knowing that as soon as I wake up tomorrow I'll be back into jeans and t-shirts!

Silence

There is always noise around me whether it be the radio in my office, car or room, telephones, me rattling out garbled bits of dialog, playing around with stupid voices or noises.

I hit the ground running at work today, looked at my watch 5 minutes later and it was 11 o'clock already. I didn't even make it as far as turning on the radio.

It has been really odd just having peripheral noise around me, the heater, me swearing at my drawer, sticky tape reels, elephants walking up and down the stairs and the ghosts in the attic.

Don't think I can always do this, but it's been kinda nice while it's lasted. I have been a lot less fidgety and been more productive, so maybe it's been a good thing?

Random Wednesday afternoon bits...

After what seems like months of dramas to fill a position here, we finally have a starter.

She started today and while I was a bit unsure at first, she is lovely. Very chatty, has offered to clean my desk (anyone who has seen it recently will realise just how brave she is!) and she understands my directions! She's a traveller as well, which fits our department perfectly and will help pass those bored moments!

Am off to have my hair cut this afternoon and I'm really excited about it. No major changes, just a tad darker and shorter but I'm relishing this whole feeling girly thing. And F will be in the same time as me so lots of gossipping which is always fun.

Need a road trip soon, thinking I might grab some food from the markets on Saturday and head up to the Styx for a drive and get lost in some trees. Is funny that 6 months or so ago I thought I couldn't go back there but am really missing it, might go the back way to avoid the reminiscing that does my head in. Hopefully now it's getting cold there won't be too many tree hugger types around and I can enjoy the peace. Might fit in a swim, depending on how brave I'm feeling.

And it's finally caterpillar season again. My building is cream and at the moment is covered with little fuzzy black dots all over the external walls. Did find one of the little critters creeping through a gap in the window this afternoon and put him back outside. They're so gorgeous and inquisitive.

My life in a box

In the last 5 months I have gone from having the equiv of a 2 bedroom house amount of stuff to enough stuff to fit half a 10 x 5 metre room. It was so easy bunging my stuff in storage and not having to worry about it. Even easier because I didn't have my lazy Sunday afternoons of "Oh, what shall I do today, lets pull out all the CDs and not put them back". My room was spotless, rare for the messy person itching to get out of my but I was fairly happy like that.

This last week I have empty my storage unit. I have my bookshelf and my books back. Unpacking my boxes of books was like having a million Christmas's at once. Culua, Cloudstreet, The Riders, The Hobbit, Roald Dahl, Jodi Picoult, my travel guides and atlas's, my lighthouse book. Like having old friends back.

My room was a place to sleep, work, do TAFE stuff and that's about it.

Now the second I walk in the door it's like home. Minuscule home, but home. What makes me even happier is the fact that I do have a lot of stuff that I know I don't want anymore (which will make way for a couple of boxes still at mums!).

Now I just need to sort it out and look pretty. I have my lighthouse hanging now after more than 12months leaning on the wall at Brighton, I have photo's, ticket stubs, a table tennis ball (Dougie!), random quotes and newspaper clippings blu tacked to my wall, the chair in my room, my blades, goalie gear stuck behind the desk. The room really is an extension of me now and I love being there so much. Ok, so maybe a bit anti-social but I don't care.






The only thing I really need to do is to find the random box with the remainder of my DVDs. I've lost Shaun of the Dead and I know it is around somewhere. It's the perfect hangover movie (along with Waking Ned Devine, which is with Shaun somewhere) and Sundays really aren't the same at the moment. What's the bet that as soon as I cave and buy a new copy the DVD will show up? Most likely under a pile of Toby's quilting stuff.

The aim (and has been for about the last 2 years, like that wasn't saying something!) is to be able to fit my stuff in Beastie and just take off if I need to. The whole roots thing scares me a bit at the moment. Having said that, I now feel safe and comfortable at the hostel. Have really fallen on my feet with that one. Am happy to stay there for the moment and just see where the wind blows me. And won't that be a challenge for Little Miss Plan Everything!

And I thought I had it out of my system...

... but no, I'm in love

Getting back on the horse

Some of you may know that I used to play hockey. I stopped in 2002 after hitting a rough patch and played for longer than I should have. As a result I've been back to the turf 3 times* since then, each resulting in panic attacks.

Up to about 3 months ago, everything I've thought/read/seen/heard about hockey has had a negative response from me. I never, ever wanted to play again although I've been lugging my gear around for 5 years, have you seen how much gear a keeper has? This bag takes up half of my new room!

Then something clicked in me and I really wanted to play again. I missed the training, the hill runs in the rain, the ice cold water on a Thursday night, the buzz of putting the pads on and warming up. The day after this I ran into an old friend from my first club who gave me the details of the new manager and I got in touch with her. Could slot into a second grade team and play on the field. No worries. And I was excited about it!

Except over Easter weekend I chickened out. Thought "Ok, this is a good first step, lets leave it 12 months and go back next year". I ended up having coffee with the manager and explaining everything and why I must have seemed really flaky. She was/is wonderful. Her daughter went through a similar thing and is just starting to play again. So I'm sitting on the bench for a couple of weeks, working up to having a run here and there. My goal for September is to have played a whole game.

* I went to the turf tonight, drove in twice, didn't get out, but was fine. I actually wanted to go in and have a look, we have two new pitches but it was pouring and only wearing thongs (excuse or what?!) But that's my accomplishment for this weekend and am very proud of myself.

Of course the world conspires against me and I have to work tomorrow night when the team is playing. No biggie, am not letting anyone down by not being there but delaying the inevitable for myself. It feels like my first day at school but I can do it :)

Where I'm at...

Inspired by the girls who's blogs I love reading so much - you know who you are :)

Brief update:

• I'm single and loving it
• Have lost a stackload of weight and am loving it
• Have moved into a student hostel where I'm a morning supervisor, I wake the kidlets up and make sure they don't kill themselves in exchange for room and meals. And guess what? Am loving it! Perfect place for a sexy singleton, I have my own staircase to sneak boys up :p
• Same job, same whinges, not loving that so much

I love my life now, absolutley love it. Sure, I still have some of the same crap that was floating around before, but the remainder is great. I have fantastic new friends, my relationship with my mum's partner has improved and I can do whatever the hell I want including awesome weekend benders! I miss my babies though, nothing like getting home from a long day at work to snuggles from Benk and Myrtle but what can you do?

And I'm still confusing myself. Working towards a move to the UK next year, via South Africa for a monthish. But now all I want to do is bundle back to Christchurch. It surprises me how much that place feels like home, I wonder how long I can fight it :p

Dramas over getting birth certificates so I can apply for an Ancestry Visa. According to BDM my father doesn't actually exist. Interesting! They're doing another search so I have everything crossed in the meantime, but I'm not feeling terribly positive about it. Completely floored me when I got the letter - the whole UK thing is more about finding out about my fathers side of the family than working on the other side of the world.

However I did finally track down one of my half brothers which left me in tears for a couple of weeks! Emails were sent back and forth for a couple of weeks finding out about each other, but slowly dwindled. I just wanted them to acknowledge that I existed and for them to know the Geoff died. Will probably send an email when I'm in the UK, but it just seems like one of those things left alone.

I can still ramble with the best of them :) As part of my new life I've started writing again and I really have no idea why I ever stopped. Just being lazy. God knows what I'll do with it, but it's something to be proud of at the moment.

That's enough of an update for today!