My life in a box

In the last 5 months I have gone from having the equiv of a 2 bedroom house amount of stuff to enough stuff to fit half a 10 x 5 metre room. It was so easy bunging my stuff in storage and not having to worry about it. Even easier because I didn't have my lazy Sunday afternoons of "Oh, what shall I do today, lets pull out all the CDs and not put them back". My room was spotless, rare for the messy person itching to get out of my but I was fairly happy like that.

This last week I have empty my storage unit. I have my bookshelf and my books back. Unpacking my boxes of books was like having a million Christmas's at once. Culua, Cloudstreet, The Riders, The Hobbit, Roald Dahl, Jodi Picoult, my travel guides and atlas's, my lighthouse book. Like having old friends back.

My room was a place to sleep, work, do TAFE stuff and that's about it.

Now the second I walk in the door it's like home. Minuscule home, but home. What makes me even happier is the fact that I do have a lot of stuff that I know I don't want anymore (which will make way for a couple of boxes still at mums!).

Now I just need to sort it out and look pretty. I have my lighthouse hanging now after more than 12months leaning on the wall at Brighton, I have photo's, ticket stubs, a table tennis ball (Dougie!), random quotes and newspaper clippings blu tacked to my wall, the chair in my room, my blades, goalie gear stuck behind the desk. The room really is an extension of me now and I love being there so much. Ok, so maybe a bit anti-social but I don't care.






The only thing I really need to do is to find the random box with the remainder of my DVDs. I've lost Shaun of the Dead and I know it is around somewhere. It's the perfect hangover movie (along with Waking Ned Devine, which is with Shaun somewhere) and Sundays really aren't the same at the moment. What's the bet that as soon as I cave and buy a new copy the DVD will show up? Most likely under a pile of Toby's quilting stuff.

The aim (and has been for about the last 2 years, like that wasn't saying something!) is to be able to fit my stuff in Beastie and just take off if I need to. The whole roots thing scares me a bit at the moment. Having said that, I now feel safe and comfortable at the hostel. Have really fallen on my feet with that one. Am happy to stay there for the moment and just see where the wind blows me. And won't that be a challenge for Little Miss Plan Everything!

And I thought I had it out of my system...

... but no, I'm in love

Getting back on the horse

Some of you may know that I used to play hockey. I stopped in 2002 after hitting a rough patch and played for longer than I should have. As a result I've been back to the turf 3 times* since then, each resulting in panic attacks.

Up to about 3 months ago, everything I've thought/read/seen/heard about hockey has had a negative response from me. I never, ever wanted to play again although I've been lugging my gear around for 5 years, have you seen how much gear a keeper has? This bag takes up half of my new room!

Then something clicked in me and I really wanted to play again. I missed the training, the hill runs in the rain, the ice cold water on a Thursday night, the buzz of putting the pads on and warming up. The day after this I ran into an old friend from my first club who gave me the details of the new manager and I got in touch with her. Could slot into a second grade team and play on the field. No worries. And I was excited about it!

Except over Easter weekend I chickened out. Thought "Ok, this is a good first step, lets leave it 12 months and go back next year". I ended up having coffee with the manager and explaining everything and why I must have seemed really flaky. She was/is wonderful. Her daughter went through a similar thing and is just starting to play again. So I'm sitting on the bench for a couple of weeks, working up to having a run here and there. My goal for September is to have played a whole game.

* I went to the turf tonight, drove in twice, didn't get out, but was fine. I actually wanted to go in and have a look, we have two new pitches but it was pouring and only wearing thongs (excuse or what?!) But that's my accomplishment for this weekend and am very proud of myself.

Of course the world conspires against me and I have to work tomorrow night when the team is playing. No biggie, am not letting anyone down by not being there but delaying the inevitable for myself. It feels like my first day at school but I can do it :)

Where I'm at...

Inspired by the girls who's blogs I love reading so much - you know who you are :)

Brief update:

• I'm single and loving it
• Have lost a stackload of weight and am loving it
• Have moved into a student hostel where I'm a morning supervisor, I wake the kidlets up and make sure they don't kill themselves in exchange for room and meals. And guess what? Am loving it! Perfect place for a sexy singleton, I have my own staircase to sneak boys up :p
• Same job, same whinges, not loving that so much

I love my life now, absolutley love it. Sure, I still have some of the same crap that was floating around before, but the remainder is great. I have fantastic new friends, my relationship with my mum's partner has improved and I can do whatever the hell I want including awesome weekend benders! I miss my babies though, nothing like getting home from a long day at work to snuggles from Benk and Myrtle but what can you do?

And I'm still confusing myself. Working towards a move to the UK next year, via South Africa for a monthish. But now all I want to do is bundle back to Christchurch. It surprises me how much that place feels like home, I wonder how long I can fight it :p

Dramas over getting birth certificates so I can apply for an Ancestry Visa. According to BDM my father doesn't actually exist. Interesting! They're doing another search so I have everything crossed in the meantime, but I'm not feeling terribly positive about it. Completely floored me when I got the letter - the whole UK thing is more about finding out about my fathers side of the family than working on the other side of the world.

However I did finally track down one of my half brothers which left me in tears for a couple of weeks! Emails were sent back and forth for a couple of weeks finding out about each other, but slowly dwindled. I just wanted them to acknowledge that I existed and for them to know the Geoff died. Will probably send an email when I'm in the UK, but it just seems like one of those things left alone.

I can still ramble with the best of them :) As part of my new life I've started writing again and I really have no idea why I ever stopped. Just being lazy. God knows what I'll do with it, but it's something to be proud of at the moment.

That's enough of an update for today!